We are delighted that you are considering a wedding at St Stephen’s. Our beautiful, sacred space and Kimball Hall are a splendid setting for nuptials, and our hope is that you will choose St Stephen’s as the location for one of the most joyous and sacred days of your life. Although being a member is not a requirement to be married at St Stephen’s, our hope is that each couple will consider becoming a part of the St Stephen’s community.

We require three month’s notice prior to a wedding, and, if it is desired that an Episcopal priest officiate the ceremony, at least one of the parties must be a baptized Christian. Premarital counseling is required by the canons of the Episcopal Church. In the case of a divorced person who wishes to remarry, permission from the Bishop is required. Under no circumstances should any announcement of a wedding at St Stephen’s be made until 1) the couple has had an interview with the Rector, Father Ellsworth, 2) he consents to officiate or invites a person of your choosing to officiate, and 3) a deposit has been received. Satoko Boris, Facilities Rental Manager, will serve as your first contact at satoko@ststephenschurch.org or 415-435-4501. 

FEES 

Wedding costs are a concern for every couple. We make our fees and the payment schedule clear and direct. For the space itself, there are two fee tiers, one for pledging members of St Stephen’s Church (at the date of application) and one for non-members and non-pledging members and participants; all other fees are the same for members and non-members. To see our current fees and payment schedule, please see our rate sheet by clicking the Current Wedding Fee Schedule button.

THE PROCESS

If you find these costs within your budget and you desire to begin the wedding process at St Stephen’s, please complete our online Wedding Registration Form by clicking the button below. 

Within a few days of receiving the form, Satoko Boris will contact you. If you desire that the Rector of St Stephen’s officiate, please indicate that on the form. If you desire to have a priest or minister not on our staff officiate your wedding, please make that request after speaking with Father Ellsworth, the Rector of St Stephen’s.

The Rector will be in touch by email within a week of receiving your form to arrange a first conversation by phone. An in-person meeting with both members of the couple will follow. Please do not firmly set a date until you have met with the Rector and together determined that St Stephen’s is the right place for your wedding.

PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING

Pre-marital counseling is both a requirement of the Episcopal Church and a strong commitment on the part of St Stephen’s Rector. A minimum of four pre-marital meetings will be held, and it is mandatory that both parties will attend. These meetings are to provide as much preparation as possible for you as a couple in taking this significant life step and to satisfy the Rector that to the best of his/her knowledge the couple has a reasonably and holy hope for a lifelong marriage. The Rector will share more details about this process in the initial meeting.

If either of you has been divorced and the Rector is going to officiate the wedding, he must receive permission from the Bishop of the Diocese of California to perform the marriage ceremony. The Rector will explain this process.

SERVICE DETAILS 

Planning the liturgy (service details) normally occurs under the direction of the Rector. Each couple is encouraged to select the scripture readings for their service. 

Each couple will be referred to our Director of Music, John K. Hirten, who will be creative and flexible in helping you choose music appropriate to the sacred space and solemnity of the liturgy. Bring your ideas and preferences to Mr Hirten. Because of the sacred nature of the Marriage Rite, music outside of the Classical/Sacred repertoire (popular songs, show tunes, etc.) is best used at your reception. The music of the service is ultimately at the discretion of the officiating priest. St Stephen’s Director of Music must be consulted and give consent if other musicians are to be invited.

While photographs are treasured reminders of this special day, photographers must adhere to requirements which preserve the sacred nature of the service. Arrangements must be made prior to the week of the service if you wish to take photographs before or after the wedding. Only existing light photography is permitted during the service. Flash photography may not be used during the service, except during the entering procession and the retiring procession. 

FLOWERS

Flowers are permitted in the church. St Stephen’s uses a professional florist, who is accustomed to decorating our space, following the guidelines for arrangements. If you choose to use another florist, the firm must meet Satoko Boris early in the planning process to assure that the following guidelines are understood and followed:

• No flowers or other decorations may be placed on the altar itself.
• Flowers at the altar will remain with St Stephen’s. All other flowers and decorations must be removed within two hours following the service.
• St Stephen’s does not permit the use of aisle runners or ‘unity candles’. Rice, flower petals, confetti, etc. may not be scattered in the church or on the church property.

If you have questions, please contact Satoko Boris, Facilities Rental Manager, at satoko@ststephenschurch.org.